Personal Responsibility

Dear Texas State Representative Tony Tinderholt,

I understand you’ve proposed a new bill in Texas! Mazel Tov! I’m sure it takes a lot of hard work and careful research to be able to confidently bring a new bill to the table. Whenever I hear that a hardworking, elected official in the United States has brought a new piece of legislation into the mix, I always feel so proud at how brave and bold our democracy is. State representatives, such as yourself, have the freedom to bring forth any ol’ idea at all! I love that!

However, I gotta tell you, I’m not a fan of your most recent idea to criminalize women for having abortions. That seems like a truly terrible idea! I’ve pasted your statement regarding your new bill below in red, and my thoughts beneath yours. Thanks for your reconsideration on this important issue.

Right now, it’s real easy.

Ok, cool. Let’s start with your premise that getting an abortion is easy. An in-clinic abortion works by using suction to take a pregnancy out of a woman’s uterus. You can read about how it works by clicking here. I assure you there is nothing easy about this procedure. The doctors and  nurses who are qualified in this field have gone to school for many, many years in order to be able to safely and effectively perform this procedure. They use sterilized tools in hygienic offices. No wire hangers for miles! (Read here about what happens if abortions are performed by people who have NOT gone to school for many years). You’re a Texas guy, right? So I’m guessing you’re a fan of the awesome basketball player Kevin Durant! You know how Kevin is like the BEST basketball player? And he’s worked really hard to be able to play basketball? Like, you could never play basketball as well as Kevin, right!? Cuz he's a basketball expert! Well ... that’s like the doctors and nurses who know how to perform abortions! They've worked really hard to be able to do something really complicated. Just like Kevin Durant.

Right now, they don’t make it important to be personally responsible because they know that they have a backup of, ‘Oh, I can just go get an abortion.'

So first a question here. Who’s the “they” you refer to? You mean women don’t make it important? Lawmakers? Doctors? I’m not crystal clear on your intention here, but I’m gonna go ahead and assume you’re referring to women since that’s who you think oughta be criminalized. So, you think that American women are going around the country having unprotected sex all willy-nilly because they’re like, “Whatever, no big deal! I can always just go and get my uterus sucked later! Let’s party!” Fascinating presumption, Tony! I decided to do a little research to see if that is in fact the case. (Spoiler Alert: It’s not!). Turns out that getting an abortion is quite taxing on a woman’s body. (See all the post-abortion symptoms and potential complications here). It’s not like a party at all! And I should know! I frickin' LOVE parties! The fact is, statistically speaking, 0% of women want to have to have an abortion. 0%.

Now, we both know that consenting adults don’t always think smartly sometimes. 

Truer words were never spoken, Mr. Tinderholt! (Tinderholt is an awesome name, btw! Do you know there’s a fun sexy app named for you? Swipe right! See what happens!) Consenting adults sometimes make really dumb decisions. Like consenting to do it on the beach. Uch, sand gets everywhere! So, if your new bill is just to punish consenting adults, who haven’t thought “smartly,” I assume your proposal aims to punish both those consenting adults? Lemme go re-read your bill and see if I got that right. Hang on.

OK. I’m back! This is so weird, but in your bill you forgot to mention the punishment for the men! You only wanna punish the woman?! Well, that’s not fair, Tony! That would be like if you and I were baking a cake together, and I cracked some eggs and put them in a bowl. And then I held the bowl, while you added all the other ingredients. And then we mixed it all up together! We turned on Barry White and kinda danced a little while we stirred. But then, later when we tasted the cake, and it didn’t taste the way we’d expected, you blamed me for being a bad baker while you went in the other room, watched the game and ate chicken wings. 

Also, when I went back to read your bill, I searched for the part about non-consenting adults. Like what happens if a lady does not consent? (Believe it or not, this happens, Tony! It’s called Rape. 1 outta 6 women in our country have been or will be the victim of rape or attempt of rapes in their lifetime. Here’s some info about it). But you don’t mention that in your bill anywhere! If you submitted this bill in a 7^th grade social studies class, your teacher would give you a great big INCOMPLETE in red marker on your paper! Better go back and try again. And while you’re at it, check out this info about abortions that are medically necessary to save a mother’s life and abortions that prevent babies from being born with fatal consequences.

But consenting adults need to also consider the repercussions of the sexual relationship that they’re gonna have, which is a child.

Yes, every time a heterosexual couple has sex there is a chance their sex will result in a child. That’s one of the reasons we’d love for health insurance policies to cover birth control! Wait, wait! Don't let health insurance distract me! Back to your bill. I was so curious about your word “repercussions” that I decided to look up exactly what you’re proposing as punishment for women who choose to have an abortion. I thought the website I came to first wasn’t real, because it said that the repercussion you’re proposing is JAIL. But sure enough, the more I searched, the more I realized that yup, that’s your plan. You know, 59% of women in our country who have abortions are already mothers. If you send them to jail, who’s babysitting? Also nearly 20% of abortions are performed on girls between the ages of 15-19. You setting up an abortion jail high school? Will you schedule abortion jail high school prom? Approximately one million women and girls in America have abortions every year. The average cost to taxpayers for one year of one inmate’s jail time is about $32,000 a year. That means you’d be adding $32,000,000,000 to the tax payer’s bill in order to jail all those consenting and non-consenting, teenagers and moms! That’s a lotta moola, Tony. 

You might wanna rethink all this! You know, just to make sure you’re taking “personal responsibility.”