Dear Brandi ...

Dear Brandi,
 
Thank you for making your voice heard and for sharing your opinion regarding yesterday’s Women’s March. As a woman who did indeed march in yesterday’s Women’s March, I appreciated hearing your point of view. So often, I feel the two sides of this argument don’t take the time to really try to understand the other’s frustrations. So, I want to start this by saying – I hear you. I’ve written some comments to address some of your questions and statements. See below:

I'm on the roll of being unfriended now, so I may as well keep speaking my mind. And if you want to know exactly what I'm thinking you better read this allll the way to the end.

Uch, I know! Don’t you hate it when people don’t read long things you’ve written all the way to the end. It’s so annoying!

I am not a "disgrace to women" because I don't support the women's march.

Totally! Amen, sister!

I do not feel I am a "second class citizen" because I am a woman. I do not feel my voice is "not heard" because I am a woman. I do not feel I am not provided opportunities in this life or in America because I am a woman.

That’s great! I’m so happy you haven’t had this experience, because trust me, it’s so disheartening. My wish, like yours I’m sure, is that all women can one day share in your good fortune. Maybe you could share some of your tips!

I do not feel that I "don't have control of my body or choices" because I am a woman.

This is so deeply important. Since you’ve taken the time to speak up on such an important issue, I’m sure you’re well versed on women’s history and the rationale behind women’s concern in this area. Just in case though, here’s a link to a Wikipedia page (a non-politically biased website) with information on women who have not had your same experience in regards to control of their own body and choices. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Roe_v._Wade I don’t want to speak for all the women marching yesterday, but I will say that for me, this lengthy historical record of women who did not have control of their bodies or choices helps me to recognize that control of my body and choices is something that I must protect fiercely.

I do not feel like I am " not respected or undermined" because I am a woman.
I AM a woman.
I can make my own choices.
I can speak and be heard.
I can VOTE.

I can work if I want.

I must admit, I just can’t help feeling really jealous of this one! You only have to work if you want?! That’s amazing!! Did you know that some of the women I marched with yesterday don’t have this choice. (Including me actually!) In fact, lots of women who didn’t march yesterday, couldn’t march because they had to work. They don’t have jobs where they can go “if they want.” They have to go to work or they don’t have a job anymore. And because they must work in order to feed themselves and their families, they totally had to work yesterday. And every day.  I don’t have to tell you that some women in our country still don’t get paid as much as their male counterparts in their fields. But in case you wanted to learn more about this issue, you could visit the National Organization for Women’s website: http://now.org/resource/women-deserve-equal-pay-factsheet/ and read all about women who work in our country. Some of the women marching yesterday were marching to be sure that our new president will keep this issue in mind as he starts to govern. It seems to some women marchers that maybe he wouldn’t be too concerned about it because of the whole “grab them by the pussy” comment that he made.

I control my body.
I can defend myself.
I can defend my family.

Oh, I’m so glad to hear this! Did you know that 1 in 5 women in our country have been victims of severe physical violence by an intimate partner? Isn’t that terrifying? There are actually many organizations in America devoted to helping women who cannot defend themselves or their families. It’s wonderful for you that you won’t need their services. But just in case you ever find yourself in danger, the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence has your back. Here’s their website if you need it: http://ncadv.org/learn-more/statistics In fact, lots of women who marched yesterday were marching to ensure that our new president knows that women aren’t supposed to be abused. You see, he has a much document, four decade history of abusing and sexually assaulting women. (Here’s a link to the timeline if you’re interested: http://talkingpointsmemo.com/livewire/timeline-trump-allegations-sexual-misconduct) So, because he doesn’t seem to value women’s bodies on a personal level, lots of women wanted to let him know that we hope he will at least value them on a national level.

There is nothing stopping me to do anything in this world but MYSELF.

You go girl!

I do not blame my circumstances or problems on anything other than my own choices or even that sometimes in life, we don't always get what we want.

I have no idea what your circumstances or problems or choices have been, so I would never begin to comment on any of that, other than to say, it’s very mature of you to take responsibility for the ups and downs your life has dealt you. It might interest you to know that there are lots of scientists in our world who have done tons of research on the subject of circumstances. Turns out that for so many people, globally actually, their circumstances totally do prevent them from getting what they want. Especially food. And shelter. Medicine. Water. Stuff like that. Here’s a link to the World Hunger Organization’s website (I’ll link you to the page regarding America specifically) http://www.worldhunger.org/hunger-in-america-2015-united-states-hunger-and-poverty-facts/ I know that when I feel hungry, it’s hard for me to concentrate on other stuff. I’m guessing that lots of people who face circumstances of hunger feel that way too. I think a lot of the women marching yesterday were marching because Donald Trump has made comments and taken actions that are in opposition to helping people (unlike you) who do face difficult circumstances. For example, President Trump has implied that he intends to cut the national food stamp program by $23 billion. Since 44% of the people who benefit from this program are children, who REALLY don’t have control over their circumstances, a lot of the women marching yesterday were hoping the president might change his mind.

I take responsibility for myself.
I am a mother, a daughter, a wife, a sister, a friend.

Me too! Amen, sister!

I am not held back in life but only by the walls I choose to not go over which is a personal choice.

Gosh, this means you must be healthy! I’m so happy for you. I’m healthy today too, which I am so grateful for. Have you ever known anyone who’s been sick? It’s the worst! Isn’t it? My dad had cancer. It was awful. That was definitely a setback for him. Man, that cancer sure did hold him back. It was a real shame he wasn’t given a personal choice about it. It just happened! We were all really surprised. We sure weren’t expecting that. Did you know that in 2016 there were 1,685,210 cases of cancer diagnosed?! Isn’t that so many?  (Here’s a whole website about it! https://www.cancer.org/research/cancer-facts-statistics/all-cancer-facts-figures/cancer-facts-figures-2016.html) The treatment is so expensive, you wouldn’t believe it! If you didn’t have access to health care and you got a cancer diagnosis, do you know what would happen? It’s really bad. You would die. So, lots of people were marching yesterday because President Trump has made it clear he plans to dismantle the Affordable Care Act (you might know it by the nickname, ObamaCare). In case you don’t know the details of this Act, which has insured over 17 million Americans who otherwise were living without health insurance, here is an overview of the facts of the plan: http://obamacarefacts.com/affordable-care-act-facts/ I think there’s still room for improvement when it comes to the health care system in America, but I think it would be wise to ensure that all of the people who currently have insurance, don’t lose their insurance. You know, so they don’t die, obviously! So, I know this was a big reason people came out to let their voices be heard yesterday.

Quit blaming.
Take responsibility.

I have a question for you! Do you have kids? If not, do you know any? Ya’ know how when a big kid on the playground pushes a little kid and that kid falls down and skins his knee and starts crying, you go over to that kid and you say, “Are you Ok? Do you need a kiss? A band-aid?” And the little kid dries his eyes and tries to be brave. And you ask him, “what happened?” And the little kid points to that other kid; the big one, with unruly hair, and he says, “he pushed me.”
Do you:

A)     Say to the kid, “Quit Blaming.”

Or do you

B) Say to the kid, “That was wrong of that big kid! He shouldn’t have pushed you!” And then do you march right on over to that big kid with unruly hair and raise your voice and say, “Hey! Don’t push other kids. It’s mean. And you’re hurting them.”

Which do you do?
I can tell you that women who marched yesterday, pick B.

If you want to speak, do so. But do not expect for me, a woman, to take you seriously wearing a pink va-jay-jay hat on your head and screaming profanities and bashing men.

Well first, thank you! I did want to speak, and so I did! I’m glad you approve. Thanks! And now you’re speaking too, and I’m listening! So, I’m glad we’re on the same page there. Second, not to be a fashionista about it, but I hope you’ll take me seriously no matter what I wear, because I’m a human being and my clothing has no impact whatsoever on the seriousness of my humanity. And while we’re here, let’s call my hat what it was, OK? It was a pink pussy hat. We call it that because the new president used that word to describe my vagina and yours. It seems like pussy is the president’s preferred word for vagina. It’s actually not va-jay-jay (sorry Oprah!). So, even though I think we can all agree it’s kind of gross, now we’re all just using pussy out of respect for the president’s wishes. You can too! Don’t worry! He loves it. Oh, also, I wanted to let you know that while some people yesterday did scream profanities, don’t worry about that either. Donald Trump loves profanities! So, we were just kinda echoing him. He modeled the behavior for us very clearly, so it wasn’t tricky to catch on. And – as long as we’re being really honest here, you should also know that the bashing was reserved solely for Donald Trump. At the worldwide marches yesterday, he was the only man people were really bashing. So don’t worry about men as a whole! We love men! My husband and sons marched with me actually. We all had so much fun exercising our first amendment and we didn’t bash each other at all! 

If you have beliefs, and speak to me in a kind matter, I will listen.

Phew!
But do not expect for me to change my beliefs to suit yours. Respect goes both ways.

Gotcha. Let me know when you start being respectful. I seem to have missed it.

If you want to impress me, especially in regards to women, then speak on the real injustices and tragedies that affect women in foreign countries that do not that the opportunity or means to have their voices heard.

Uch man, you have a couple extra “thats” and “thes” so I’m not 100% sure I got your point here. But first, to be fully transparent, I am not trying to impress you. Believe it or not, when I marched yesterday, I didn’t even know you! And I would love to speak to you about the injustices and tragedies that impact women in foreign countries. I wasn’t aware you were interested in that issue. We could discuss that together anytime. But to be clear, yesterday, women in foreign countries, were marching to speak on the real injustices and tragedies that affect women in the United States. Wasn’t that so nice?! Here are some photos of foreign women who are concerned about American women: http://www.vox.com/identities/2017/1/21/14346500/women-march-world-photo

Saudi Arabia, women can't drive, no rights and must always be covered.
China and India, infantcide of baby girls.
Afghanistan, unequal education rights.
Democratic Republic of Congo, where rapes are brutal and women are left to die, or HIV infected and left to care for children alone.
Mali, where women can not escape the torture of genital mutilation.
Pakistan, in tribal areas where women are gang raped to pay for men's crime.
Guatemala, the impoverished female underclass of Guatemala faces domestic violence, rape and the second-highest rate of HIV/AIDS after sub-Saharan Africa. An epidemic of gruesome unsolved murders has left hundreds of women dead, some of their bodies left with hate messages.
And that's just a few examples.

You’re right, Brandi. There are a lot of truly horrendous and heinous things happening to women all over the world. The magnitude of the global tragedies against women haven’t been lost on me or the women who marched yesterday. In fact, those women who you so wisely mention above were at the heart and core of the principals behind yesterday’s march for human rights. Here is a link to the mission statement of yesterdays’ march: https://www.womensmarch.com/mission/ We were marching for equality for all. Lucky for us the word “ALL” includes the women in Saudi Arabia, China, India, Afghanistan, The Democratic Republic of Congo, Mali, Pakistan, Guatemala, and all over the rest of the globe where women strive for equality in all things daily.

So when women get together in AMERICA and whine they don't have equal rights and march in their clean clothes, after eating a hearty breakfast, and it's like a vacation away that they have paid for to get there...

Based on your post, it seems to me that you weren’t at the march, so I’d like to clarify a few things. Breakfast was a bust for pretty much everyone. It was like gross airport bagels and weak coffee and like maybe some yogurt if you were lucky. And it was absolutely not like a vacation! My alarm went off at 3:45 am. #worstvactionalarmever! Also, since I was there and you weren’t, lemme tell you that I didn’t hear any women whining yesterday. (And trust me, I’m a mom, I know whining!) What I did hear was men, women, and children from all corners of our America, raising their voices in solidarity to tell our new president that we will fiercely protect each other (including you, Brandi!) and our rights.

This WOMAN does not support it.

This WOMAN does. Gosh this was long! I hope you read this allll the way to the end.