Breakfast in Bed

Dear Representatives Bernie Satrom and Vernon Laning,

I understand you recently commented regarding breakfast in America! I LOVE BREAKFAST. It is hands down my most favorite meal of the day. OMG EGGS! Say, what's a breakfast specialty in North Dakota? In New York City people just loooove bagels!

So listen, Mr. Satrom, I heard through the grapevine that this week, while defending North Dakota's laws that require some businesses in your state to open late or stay closed entirely on Sundays, you said that Sundays should be devoted to:

“Spending time with your wife, your husband ... making him breakfast, bringing it to him in bed and then after that go take your kids for a walk.”

And then, your buddy, Representative Laning, hopped on your train by adding:

“I don’t know about you, but my wife has no problem spending everything I earn in 6 and a half days. And I don’t think it hurts at all to have a half day off.”

Since so much of what you mentioned applies to me (I am a wife, I love breakfast and Sundays), I thought I'd take a second to share my thoughts with you about your funny comments. I'll begin with Representative Satrom since he spoke first. Fair n' Square, I always say!

Mr. Satrom, I don't live in North Dakota and I can only speak for my own household, but in my home, my husband and I hate breakfast in bed! The crumbs! The dog goes bananas! The schlep from the kitchen! Forget it. We prefer keeping breakfast in the kitchen. Also my husband likes to make his own breakfast. He's so good at it! He knows just what he likes to eat! In fact, he also likes to make my breakfast too. Mmmm, delish! He even makes the kids breakfast! So, I wouldn't wanna shake things up too much over here. Especially on Sundays when I'm often working. (I work on Sundays by the way, New York City stays super open). The thing is though, your Sunday law doesn't really effect me personally because you're on the other side of the country from me! Phew! BUT ... I like people in every state! And I feel so bad for the women in your state who won't be able to cook up breakfast for their husbands because:

A) They have wives.
B) They are single.
C) They live in one of the nearly 25,000 homes in North Dakota where the woman is the primary breadwinner.
D) They live in one of the 34% of the above "B" choice households that is also below the poverty level. So they're also prob'ly skipping the whole breakfast and a walk thing on Sundays.

(By the way, Representative Satrom, FYI, I wouldn't necessarily use the phrase "take your kids for a walk." That's sort of lingo people use about their dogs! LOL!)

Thank you for patiently waiting your turn, Mr. Laning! So ... you started your statement by saying "I don't know about you, but ..." -- and to that lemme start by saying - you are right! You don't know about me, and apparently you don't know about the women in North Dakota either! 81% of North Dakota mothers are working! That's the fourth highest percentage nationwide! CONGRATS! Go Moms in North Dakota! (Here are recent findings on women/mothers in the workforce in your state, just in case you'd like to check it out!) But you know what that means, right? If 81% of moms are working, that only leaves 19% of all the mamas in North Dakota to cook 100% of the breakfasts and walk 100% of the kids. Hm. Whatcha gonna do about that?

And you know what else that fact based statistic means? Your wife, whom you so charmingly mention in your statement, fits right into that minority group of 19%! So she's gonna be so busy cooking Sunday breakfasts and walking kids, she won't have time to spend all your money! Smart thinking, Laning!

The other 81% of women with children in your state however, will be spending money. All seven days of the week. They'll be spending their very own, hard earned money on housing and food and healthcare and clothing for their children. Because you know all those North Dakota kids you're so concerned about taking for walks? One in three of them is living in poverty. You know what I bet those kids would really like? Breakfast in bed. Representatives, if I were you, I'd start cooking.